Thursday, March 26, 2009

Aiken's Pipes, Wit Tops with Fans

Clay Aiken graphic designed by Amazing_CA.

2009 Calendar Updates

Virtual Tour Recalls 'Clayisms'

The incredible pipes of Clay Aiken are reason enough for fans to long for a new tour, but almost as popular as the golden voice are the singer's quick wit and sense of humor that permeate onstage banter between songs.

Featured in this virtual tour stop are memorable "Clayisms" that can be traced back to concerts and television appearances of the past six years. No doubt, some longtime CA fans can describe the precise setting of each quote. Favorites shared in reader comments will be added to the blog.

Before the banter train leaves the station, however, here is an overview of upcoming appearances by Clay in the near future.


March 28: GLAAD 20th Annual Media Awards -- Clay will present a media award to good friend Tyra Banks. (Marriott Marquis, NYC)

March 28: Paula's Party -
House of Blues rerun, 7 p.m. (FOOD)

Clay Aiken, Dionne Warwick and Duff Goldman are guests as the host creates a blues-inspired menu that includes blue-corn-crusted bass, blue-velvet cake, and a blueberry crème brûlée tart.

March 31: The Very Best of Clay Aiken CD drops
For playlist, see 2/24 Carolina entry. CD available in stores on 3/31 and for pre-orders at several online sites.

March 31: Scrubs rerun - My Life in Four Cameras (COMEDY)
Act II unfolds as J.D.'s sitcom fantasy, filmed in front of a studio audience and triggered by his tending to a TV writer. Clay Aiken guest stars as a hapless cafeteria worker, who sings “Isn't She Lovely?”

April 8: Clay appears on America's Next Top Model (CW)
"Clay Aiken, a close friend of mine, is a guest judge and will pose as a designer in this episode." -- Tyra Banks

May 14: Clay will make a cameo appearance on the final episode of 30 Rock. (NBC)
Clay is known for his quit wit and comedic timing. He just finished his second stint on Broadway's Spamalot in January and fans are anxiously awaiting his return to the spotlight.

Singer Becomes Clack Gatherer

Famous among CA fans is the 2007 Soft Rock Hard Place Ft. Myers concert during which Clay turned the tables on videographer Scarlett, who was shooting from the front row. The above video tells the story and can be downloaded at Clack Unlimited.

Clay Aiken Takes His Own Clack

These Clayisms, which date back as far as 2003, appear in no particular order.

God forbid the clack skip around!

I'm never wrong, people.

Breathe for me, honey!

Talk amongst yourselves.

I know your words.

Perfection takes time, honey!

You need another fact checker!

All done, darlin'.

Happy to save you money on your prescriptions
(autographing "Clay = Female Viagra" poster)

They will be locked!

Lawd, Jesus!
(fanning himself)

Hey Ruben, I got panties!

What do you have in there -- Radio Shack?

Git 'er done!

The twisty tie confuses me every time!

He hit me with his cane!

Stick me on the roof or fold me up and throw me in the trunk.

I don't have an accent, do 'ah'?

She didn't have the balls to send me the letter!

I think I'm gonna take a cold shower at intermission. **Deafening cheers** Let me try again; I'm gonna read a book.

In my life, I've had heartache and pain
(pointing to Angela and Quiana).

Before the show is over they will have your email address, your phone number, your address; and the next thing you know, you will be driving them to Florida!

You can never get enough of Clay Aiken.

We're all family here, right?

I have my own Nation.

PHOTO INTERLUDE: This clickable interlude features graphics by Amazing_CA, with photos by fivegoldens, 1; PermaSwooned, 2; and toni7babe, 3. Represented are the Soft Rock Hard Place and Jukebox Tours.

Montages Feature 'Clayisms'

More "Clayisms" are highlighted in three YouTube montages by Marie Drummond: Clay, Your Halo Is a Wee Bit Crooked; Clay Testosterone Contest; and Clay Embraces His Dorkiness.

It doesn't really matter to me how I make a difference; I just wanna make sure that I do.

I'm going through puberty now, and you can say you were here when it happened. Now I am a man!

Here's to not caring!

Savor the flavor.

My teeth are blindingly white.

I was the only one that looked like Jesus.
(reference to bearded appearance during UNICEF trip to Afghanistan)

Krispy Kremes, macaroni and cheese, and slooooooooow songs.

I love going up and singing on stage.

The fact that you are here will help when you get home.
(to the men in the audience)

Clay talking about how classy the orchestra is and how he's not. A fan shouts out, "You're hot though!"

I got beat up by a girl!

He really liked me for some reason..."
(RE the horse on Kimmel)

Lord help the sex symbol world if I'm one of them.

Did you get that on video?

You know, I think I'm a stronger person for realizing that you can't make everybody love you.

It takes a whole team of people working 24 hours around the clock to make me look like this.

I'm being trained to shake the bon-bon appropriately.

I'm fine and have taken steps to prevent any foot wandering in the future.

We sing lots of sloooooooooooooooooooowwww songs.

Clay Aiken bringing families together!

Sometimes things come out of my mouth that don't even go through my brain.

Success is measured by how happy you are, not how much money you have.

It's a little less sweet and a little more suspect!

It's important that I make a difference in some way. If it's by singing and touching someone that way, great. If it's being a teacher and helping some kid understand something, even better.

Use your voice.

I'm Clay Aiken!
(signing "thank you")

Have an awesome week, Clay Nation!


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Anonymous said...

I do love his WIT!!!

this was fun!

Thanks Caro!!!

SueReu said...

caro, THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! THANK YOU!! (I particularly like the bon-bon quote ;-) )

Great Videos (hugs Marie) and wonderful blends!!!

Glad you're feeling better!!

Anonymous said...

Is it sad that I recognize every single one of those??????????????


SueReu said...

how about -

"We know where Sharon's lookin' - eyes up here"

or is that inappropriate? It is one of my favorites......

fgs said...

Love this blog and his wit in concert can not be matched, Clay Aiken is one of a kind! Thanks for that list of "Clayisms"--I was looking for something like that a week or so ago and couldn't remember where I saved them.

Ashes said...

Love it! Besides Clay's awesome singing performances, I do want to be at a concert to hear his humour live.

LOL, quotes must be blowing in the wind..just love yours :)

Anonymous said...

Loved that you took time to remind Us of all the stuff Clay comes out with..LOVE that! He is fun and clever , just a joy to hear ! Can't wait til he gets to singing! Thanks!! for your good job helping Us smile!

deyabird said...

I love seeing all those Clayisms in one place! I wanna hear Clay talk.

PaulaBear said...

What a fun blog!! I love reliving all of Clay Aiken's isms!!!!

Anonymous said...

The SRHP video of Clay teasing Scarlett is a hoot! Thank you for posting it. Great blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi Caro,

I just loved everything about this do such an amazing job, even while sick! I do hope you are on the mend!

FUN BLOG!!!!!!


Barbara said...

Caro, I just love all of the Clayisms. What a funny guy! Thanks for posting them in your entry!

No two concerts were alike in the summer of 2007. Clay amazes me with how he starts his banters and just keeps going. He's so smart and talented.

Thanks for sharing this amazing blog with us!

Love and Hugs,


musicfan said...

Caro............What fun it was to read this blog. I loved reading all those "Clayisms"

Your blogs always make me smile. Thank you!!

T said...

Great & fun blog Caro! Love all of the Clayisms. Enjoyed the video and had a good laugh again.

Thanks so much for featuring the blends in your blog. It's such a big honor for me because your blogs bring so much delight always.

I'm marking down my calendar on the upcoming Clay appearances. I appreciate all the updates about Clay.

Cheers to you!

Chardonnay said...

Love the Clayisms! Love!!!

Melanie said...

i love this blog! i spent quite a few clay hours on utube after reading this. lol.